Earlier than I had youngsters, I bear in mind watching a bit by this comic Ron White. It was about increase a facetious alias round city, calling himself “Tater Salad.” Ron White has a drunken-Invoice-Clinton vibe and all the time performs holding a rocks glass with about two-fingers price of brown liquor in it. He tells a narrative about getting arrested and having the chance to say, “Yep. You caught the ‘Tater.’” Or one thing to that extent.
I considered The ‘Tater yesterday morning as I clicked on the outcomes from my COVID-19 take a look at and sadly, received to inform myself, “Yep. You caught the ‘Rona.”
Now that I’ve formally received it, I’m blissful to share my expertise. For one, in order that different individuals can know what to search for — but in addition as a result of my mom will assume that I’m useless until I maintain the communication coming. With that in thoughts, you would possibly contemplate this a public service announcement directed at household and buddies.
There’s nonetheless lots we don’t learn about The ‘Rona, however right here’s what I can inform you about methods to not catch it. First, don’t go anyplace. For those who do, don’t contact something, don’t get near anybody, and completely put on a masks each single second. Be certain it covers your mouth and nostril, clearly–however at this level, an astronaut helmet is admittedly what I’d suggest. Not only a face protect. I’m speaking full NASA-grade helmet. Simply encase all of your head holes in a plexiglass orb. If you run out of air to breathe inside, it’s time to crawl again into your cave and wash your arms till your fingerprints rub off.
That’s actually what I needed I’d have carried out once I noticed that “constructive” outcome. However since I don’t have a time machine or any legit astronaut gear, there’s nothing however time that may un-‘Rona me now. In case you’re curious in regards to the anticipated timeframe for restoration, I’m advised anyplace from 10 days to 14 days to 20 days to 90 days to principally by no means. So…my fingers are crossed for “quickly.”
In all seriousness, the accepted understanding is that I could be thought-about contagious for 10 days from the primary constructive take a look at or first look of signs. Anybody who’s been in shut contact with me since my signs began must quarantine for 14 days. If somebody I’ve been round will get a constructive take a look at outcome or begins to have signs, then the 10 day timeline begins over for them. Within the meantime, my physician has advised me this: If the shit goes to hit the fan, it’s probably to take action between Day four and Day eight of my signs exhibiting up. I’m at the moment on Day four and feeling good. I’ll maintain you posted.
When it comes to signs, I’m happy to report that mine have been gentle up to now. As you could have heard, ‘Rona signs can embrace each every little thing and nothing — so that you would possibly nonetheless be greedy for readability about what to anticipate for those who, too, catch a experience on the pandemic bandwagon. How will that you must be examined? Principally, if you have been uncovered and also you begin to really feel any kinda manner — you need to get examined and keep away from individuals since you most likely have The ‘Rona. For those who don’t know for those who have been uncovered and need specifics, right here’s what I skilled.
I had one evening of being pass-out-like-a-drunk-person, face-down-on-the-bar drained. Fell asleep on the sofa by 9:30, which is often not my factor. I initially attributed it to the onset of Fall, it getting darker earlier–nope. It was most likely the ‘Rona.
This was short-lived, with a grand whole of three “journeys” in a 12-hour interval. It was notable, however not extreme–someplace between being too heavy-handed with the black beans on a make-your-own burrito and having another cup of espresso than you wanted to get issues going. We had simply gotten the decision that we might have been uncovered to COVID, so I figured it was a stress response. Nope. It was the ‘Rona.
This was much less “I’m going to vomit” and extra of a “yucked out” feeling. It was intermittent and first appeared with the diarrhea. As a result of diarrhea is gross, proper? As a result of it’s pure to be yucked out by that, proper? Perhaps so, however on this case–it was The ‘Rona.
Out of nowhere, whereas taking a stroll or off-loading the dishes and even simply sitting there, I’d really feel a bizarre heat tingle from my armpits to my fingertips that ended with chilly sweat. Very fleeting. I believed perhaps it was The Change coming for me early. Nope. ‘Rona.
You understand while you’re hungover and really feel like squinting all day from the boring ache in your head? Or while you spend time exterior as a result of it’s truly good once more, after which your allergic reactions provide you with a sinus headache? Nicely, it was like that. Besides it was The ‘Rona. I’ll say my headache was vital. Not migraine-level, however pretty lingering for the primary 48 hours. It’s just about gone now, however I nonetheless really feel a twinge on occasion, like a lead pinball hitting the inside of my cranium if I stand up too quick or one thing.
Extra like a percolating nostril. As a result of it gained’t even really feel like I’m congested till I really feel the slightest trickle working its manner down. Very very like allergic reactions once more. However no. ‘Rona, ‘Rona, ‘Rona.
You understand these croupy, moist, winter-cold coughs that evacuate wads of phlegm out of your chest cavity? Mine isn’t that. It’s a dry, tickle cough on the degree of the vocal cords. It’s not bark-y but, but it surely would possibly obtain “seal” high quality finally. Mine may be very intermittent and positively hasn’t been the centerpiece of my expertise but. As my mother will attest, I sometimes saved a cough all winter lengthy from beginning to eighth grade, so I’m grateful for small blessings on this regard.
I’ll sometimes get a sore throat proper earlier than I get a chilly, so I figured I’d have strep-level, swallowing-shards-of-glass soreness in response to a novel mutant bat virus my physique has by no means defended itself towards. Nope. Kinda parched, perhaps. Very very like you get from allergic reactions or post-nasal drip. However by no means actually sore.
Bless the hearts of all these devoted souls checking individuals’s temperatures earlier than they enter a constructing. I’m certain it is going to weed out some sick individuals. However personally, my temperature has but to exceed 99.three by oral thermometer. Based mostly on physique temp alone, I might have been out and in of in all places– licking hand rails, touching issues, close-talking with no masks on, singing opera at excessive quantity–all whereas definitively having The ‘Rona. I’m nonetheless taking my temperature repeatedly, simply in case. But it surely may be useful to take into account that some individuals get fevers extra simply than others. You can’t have a fever and nonetheless very a lot have The ‘Rona.
Shortness of breath is a standard ‘Rona criticism, however I haven’t had that. There’s a persisting tickle in my throat, like I have to cough, however not a lot a stress in my chest cavity. That doesn’t cease me from having gentle periodic panic assaults in regards to the mere potential of not having the ability to breathe, however that’s simply me. That is clearly the scariest symptom, in my view, since respiratory is how we dwell… so, I’m blissful to report that I’m at the moment producing easy, unhindered breath.
And there you’ve gotten it: a reasonably complete checklist of signs that will or might not apply to your expertise! I hope it’s useful to these of you who have been curious, and soothing to these of you who have been nervous about me. Within the meantime, simply take into account that (apparently) everybody’s expertise with The ‘Rona is sort of a snowflake–an insidious, invisible, often gentle, however doubtlessly deadly snowflake. Many people might by no means even really feel it if it lands on us–however we will nonetheless wipe or spew or sprinkle that snowflake juice on anybody we’re near.
So be thoughtful of others. Even when it’s inconvenient, tedious, boring, or appears bizarre. Wash your arms. Hold your distance. Watch out together with your contacts. And canopy your face. Ideally utilizing an area helmet.
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