Ask Scary Mommy: Folks Hold Asking If I’m ‘Making an attempt For A Boy’ After 2 Ladies

Ask Scary Mommy is Scary Mommy’s recommendation column, the place our workforce of “specialists” solutions all of the questions you have got about life, love, physique picture, associates, parenting, and the rest that’s complicated you.

This week… What do you do when it appears like folks can’t cease, received’t cease asking you if you happen to’re “making an attempt for a boy” as a result of you have got two ladies? E-mail [email protected] 

Pricey Scary Mommy,

My companion and I’ve two daughters, ages three and one. My husband comes from an enormous household — he’s considered one of 4 siblings, and every of his siblings has between three and 5 youngsters. We at all times knew we wished two youngsters, solely two youngsters, so assist us God. We’re completely pleased with our daughters, they’re wonderful. We’re not likely large on specializing in the intercourse of infants basically (we skipped out on the entire “gender reveal” crap as a result of it’s dumb AF), however we’re each actually completely satisfied to have two completely satisfied, wholesome ladies. Our household, some associates, and even some acquaintances can’t cease, received’t cease asking us if we’re ever going to “attempt for a boy” subsequent time. Which is truthfully so insulting to our present kids, and completely nobody’s enterprise! However lots of people ask us this repeatedly, and it makes us so uncomfortable. 

“Making an attempt for a boy” shouldn’t be one thing anybody wants to fret about until you’re a curmudgeonly member of the British the Aristocracy who’s apprehensive about passing a title to a male inheritor. Full cease. You get this, your husband will get this, and it’s a rattling disgrace that a number of different folks refuse to get it.

It’s nothing in need of incredulous that so many individuals lack boundaries in relation to being pregnant, fertility, and the variety of kids in any given household. There’s nothing unsuitable with having two daughters. There may be nothing unsuitable with having a son. Nobody can management what sort of genitalia kids will probably be born with, so the fascination with stated genitalia and all the preconceived notions surrounding it are simply…ugh. Why. WHY.

The quickest technique to put this to mattress is to be direct. And because the folks asking you about “making an attempt for a boy” are direct, I provide you with full permission to really feel precisely zero guilt in answering them truthfully.

THEM: “Awww, two ladies! Are you guys going to attempt for a boy?”

YOU: “Nope! We’re completely completely satisfied and content material with the 2 nice youngsters we’ve already received.”

THEM: “However wouldn’t you like to have a son and luxuriate in [insert dumb gender stereotype here]?”

YOU: “Nope! We’re completely completely satisfied and content material with the 2 nice youngsters we’ve already received. However because you’re apparently not, I’m going to ask you why that’s?”

THEM: *crickets*

One good trick for uncomfortable conditions the place you is aware of somebody is overstepping, or clearly within the unsuitable, is to show the questioning again on them. More often than not, they’ll’t reply. Or, if they’ll, they realize it’s unsuitable so that they’ll change the topic or ignore it.

Better of luck. Keep secure this vacation season.

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